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About eltim

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  • Royal Revolt 2 Name
    El Tim
  1. A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm. The man says, “Beer, please, and one for the road.”
  2. 3 Men are stranded on a Desert island for years, one day they find a a magic lamp, they rub it and a genie comes out and offers them each one wish. The first man says " I miss my family i just want to go home" "So I wish to be back home" The genie nods his head and Poof the first man is gone. The second man says "I Want to be a Rich Famous actor in LA" The genie nods his head again and Poof the second man is gone The genie looks to the third man and says "what do you desire?" The Third man says " I Like being on the island But its going to get lonely all by myself" "I Wish for my friends back"
  3. I like the idea of the new scream button but I think Its far too busy with too many colours and gradients. I agree that scream cool down is harder to see now too so maybe the sizes need a tweak.
  4. Thanks for nerfing Blacksmith

    And the 'how not to handle things after you realise you've made a bit of a fool of yourself award' goes to......
  5. Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.
  6. War is coming, If you want to join our friendly relaxed team then send me a PM or search for KrisTyN in game. Thanks, El Tim
  7. Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? A: Their middle names.
  8. Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train as his father cooked dinner. Little Johnny stopped the train and said, ''All you damn a**holes who want to get off, get the hell off. All those who want to get on, get the hell on!'' ''Little Johnny!'' exclaimed his father. ''I can't believe you are using that language! You should be ashamed of yourself! I want you to go to your room and don't come back until you have thought about what you've done!'' So Little Johnny goes to his room and comes back an hour or so later. He resumes playing with his train, only this time when he stops it he says, ''All of you ladies and gentlemen who want to get off, you may now get off, and those who want to get on, you may now also get on. And as for those of you who have a problem with the hour delay, talk to the a**hole in the kitchen!''
  9. Thanks folks! Its fun looking for jokes that amuse me, I'm glad they amuse some of you too. Its El Tim William, I can't seem to find you though?
  10. A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone. He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together." The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother." The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."
  11. Hi nickmurphy. You are welcome to join us, we have a great active core of friendly people that we are trying to expand. If you pm me your in game name then I can send you an invite. Or feel free to just search for KrisTyN in game.
  12. The hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth's surface was 136 degrees F or 57.8 degrees C in El Azizia, Libya recorded in 1922.
  13. Ah they all come from google
  14. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."